For a while now I have had it in my head that two things will happen upon the release of HBP:
1. R/Hr will be real true kissy kissy canon :D meaning all the R/Hr-ers can jump up and down declaring ourselves the best and generally being really frickin' annoying (not that the good and polite members of the Good Ship would do that, of course!)
2. Draco will be dead dead dead, an occurrence that would lead to far more positive (and hilarious) benefits in my mind than the negatives, and as the subbers should know, I do enjoy a good H/D snog.
You might be wondering why these two things are lumped together in one post. They would, on first glance, appear to be very different things. The connection, my friend, is the reason I think both of them. And that reason is JKR, bless her TRIXy little heart.
Now, while many people *coughh/hrerscough* seem to think that JKR is a manipulative little liar who is only proffering certain things in canon and interviews *coughr/hrevidencecough* as a guise behind which the real twuth is hidden *coughh/hrtwuwuvcough* I do not count myself among these
Early on in this fandom's history (and in Potter history in general) JKR was fairly open about the fact that Harry and Hermione are FRIENDS, DAMNIT! and THEY ARE STAYING THAT WAY, DAMNIT! (1) In some interviews she explicitly states things such as: Harry & Hermione are platonic friends, "but I won't answer for anyone else, nudge, nudge, wink, wink." (1999), Was something going on between Ron and Hermione during the last half of GOF? JKR: "Yes, something's 'going on' ... but Ron doesn't realize it yet ... typical boy" (2000)
However, after the advent of OotP, the TRIX!Goddess becomes oddly silent about the R/Hr v. H/Hr ship war. When she does speak out it’s to announce either a) her amazement that "[she] can't believe that some of [us] haven't worked this one out yet" or b) her amusement over the fact that the two ships are “vehement and scary.”(2)
Now, this change in the Goddess’ willingness to share information regarding Good v. Pumpkin ships might be because she is just now learning how vehement (and, yes, scary) we in the fandom are, but somehow I don’t think so. According to all accounts (I wasn’t there at the time, so this is all hearsay) the “Golden Age” of the HP fandom was during the Three Year Summer between the release of GoF and OotP. Now, I’m not trying to say the fandom isn’t great now, but from all accounts it was thriving back then, as was the shipping wars. The Sugarquill came about (a high point for R/Hr shippers, of course!), the number of fandom members and fic writers was growing exponentially, people were deathmarching. All in all we were just as obsessed, vehement, and scary at that point in time as we are now, if not more so.
So, what changed? It is my humble belief that JKR knows something we don’t. *everyone slaps forehead and says “Well, DUH!”* No, I know she knows things we don’t, like how long Remus’s hair is, and if Sirius is boxers or briefs… I mean she knows something we don’t in terms of just how soon we will be getting the answer to our question wrought from vehement-ness and scariness.
As the wait between books has never been less than a year, and in recent books has been quite a deal more, I propose that that time is drawing nigh. In fact, if you look JKR’s correspondence with her fans, she seems to be getting more and more coy with her answers to “WILL HARRY N HRMIONE GET 2GETHER? PLZ K THNKS” questions at the same rate she got more and more excited in her answers to “WHEN WLL BK 6 COME? KTHNXBY” questions. It is therefore with the greatest scientific reasoning that I propose R/Hr will happen in book six, and that JKR knows this and is laughing at us all behind our backs right now.
Well, laugh away, Jo. I, on the other hand, will be preemptively squeeing (pretty much the only thing I do preemptively ;) and hoping really hard that I don’t have to eat some Sirius crow around the time of July 16th.
Okay. On to guess numero deux:
I think Draco will die. Kick the bucket. Croak. Cease to live. Expire. Doorknobilicious.
My reasoning for this is one part wishful thinking (just imagine those Draciepoo fans sobbing their OMBSOGOTHEYELINER!eyes out at that one!), one part masochism (I do rather ship fandom!Draco/Harry… their love is so pretty and redeemed!), and one part see above reasoning. As the first two don’t require much explaining, this will be about the “see above reasoning.”
Jo has never been too fond of Draco, and has been quite vocal about it. (3) She has told us were "…getting far too fond of Draco." (2003) There, straight from the Goddess’s lips. We’re getting to fond of the little bugger. Now, this could mean one of two things in my book: a) Draco is going to turn so irredeemably EVAIL that no one could love him or b) Draco is going to DIE! By now (and by the time JKR said the above quote) Jo should really know that NO ONE is EVER too evil to be loved and thought either redeemable or loveably badarse by this fandom. NO ONE. So for me that rules out number A. Which leaves number b. Draco is going to DIE.
Now that we’ve decided our little blond
As I and Saddam Hussein know from experience, being a recluse doesn’t leave much time for laughing at one’s minions. Hence, it is my belief that the TRIXy Goddess shall kill off Ferret Boy in book six, then sit back and laugh as the fandom goes to hell in a hand basket, overrun by DRAKIEPOO!fangirls and OMBTEHANGST!luvers, who will probably unit to kill off everything good and holy. I, in the meantime, will be sitting back in my rolly computer chair, munching on Nutella (4) and laughing right along with Jo, albeit probably in a more manically insane manor. (Although you never know… JKR is one CRAZY lady!)
La. This post has been a long time coming. Much SNARXier than I intended, but then again, I am a rather SNARXful person. ;)
1. See Goblet of Fire, 20 October 1999 J.K. Rowling Interview Transcript, and the definition of platonic
2. Quotes thanks to Quick Quotes Quill and Madame Scoops and Teh Goddess herself of course.
3. See PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF, and OotP. Heck, throw in HBP and WtCB7iC (that’s Whatever the Crap Book 7 is Called), for that matter. Quote from Madam Scoops.
4. Nutella: Rich, chocolaty courage in a jar