I've spent a good amount of time in the past few months blabbering on to some of you about what Jo Rowling should do/have done in the ending of Harry Potter. Such things included, but were not limited to,
*Harry kills Voldemort and then immediately says "oh thank god, now I can tell everyone I'm gay!"
*Hermione has secretly been dead the whole time. Ooooh.
*Neville turns out to be the real lord of darkness and kills everyone in the entire series in one fell swoop.
*Ron Weasley is actually Harry's sled.
*Harry kills Voldemort on page 15 and then the last 750 pages or so are hardcore celebratory gay porn.
Why should she do all these things? Because she's JK Rowling biyatch. She's richer than the queen of England and can do what she wants!
So, why did Jo write and publish the epilogue she did? Because she's JK Rowling, biyatch, she does what she wants and can pay to have you killed if you disagree.
Seriously, though, I've long wanted JK Rowling to do something completely ridiculous with the last chapter of Harry Potter, just because it would be so hilariously cool. What I didn't think of until today is what if she did and I just completely missed it?
I mean, come on. JKR had to realize that epilogue was more than a little cheesy, and that it would not come out into the world to praises of being the best literature ever created. But so what? She's JK Rowling. I just have this feeling that she hit the last chapter and decided, well, fuck it. I love these characters an obscene amount. I'm going to give Harry, Ron, and Hermione the most deliriously, absurdly, improbably happy ending ever. I'm richer than the queen, who's going to stop me?
So god bless Jo, who is totally sitting at home laughing her arse off and drinking tea out of carefully folded 100 pound note origami tea cups, very happy that she got to give her character the happy ending he deserved.