robobitchou (likeafox) wrote,

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I Just Tried To Ford the River and My Fucking Oxen Died!

So Harry, Draco, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione are setting out on the Oregon Trail right now. Wish them luck and a lack of painful deaths from dysentary. (At least this game doesn't include syphilis, or else Ginny would be totally down for the count. That little harlet.)

I'm also watching Grey's Anatomy at the same time, and my facebook and livejournal are up in the background. How did people ever survive without computers/the interwebs? :D

Don't worry, I've remembered the three most important rules of Oregon Trail play from elementary school:

1. Don't try to ford the river unless it's practically empty, or else your fucking oxen will, in fact, die. So might several of your family/friends/various celebraty crushes/fictional characters/Mr. Toilet humor-for-a-name who are riding in your wagon.

2. Always shoot at least 4 buffalo when you go hunting. Sure, they weigh 87 thousand pounds each and you can only carry 200 pounds (100 if your leg's broken), but if you don't do your duty the species might not be exctinct by the time you reach the west.

3. Don't buy clothes for your family. Clothes are for suckers, they aren't important, you never get hurt by not having them, and I hear there are some awesome nudist colonies down the Snake river. Anyway, ammunition is far more important than clothing.

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